EXT. MODEST APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
A Porsche pulls up outside the building. "Walking on
Sunshine" or some similarly obnoxiously upbeat tune is
blaring from the car.
Behind the wheel is JOHNNY SMILES, late 20s. He taps on the
steering wheel to the beat as the window WHIRS shut.
He exits the car, hits the remote, and notices a MAN walking
by.
JOHNNY
Hey! Good Morning! Is it alright if
I park here?
The man shrugs.
JOHNNY
Great!
Johnny looks around and then consults a planner that's
covered with SMILEY FACES.
He heads up a staircase to APARTMENT 12.
KNOCKS.
A MAN, mid 30s, opens the door. Looks like he just woke up.
JOHNNY
Good morning! Dennis?
DENNIS
Yeah. Who're you?
JOHNNY
Johnny.
(Off his non-reaction)
Johnny Smiles!
(Again, nothing)
I work for Lou.
DENNIS
Lou?
JOHNNY
You know... Lou? The guy you owe
(hushed)
Seven-Thousand dollars?
DENNIS
You work for Lou?
JOHNNY
(Goofy, jokey)
Hello? I think I just said that.
DENNIS
I expected someone... different.
JOHNNY
I get that a lot. Say, you mind if
I come in? It's a bit... unseemly
talking about these kind of things
standing in a doorway.
DENNIS
Uhhh... sure...
INT. DENNIS'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Johnny enters and looks around at the cluttered mess of an
apartment.
JOHNNY
So, Dennis... I'm really sorry for
intruding on your morning like
this...
DENNIS
No, it's okay...
JOHNNY
So, if you just give me the seven
grand, I won't take up any more of
your time.
DENNIS
Yeah, that's the thing -I don't
exactly have seven grand. Here.
Now.
Johnny sits on the couch and SIGHS loudly.
JOHNNY
Okay, well, you can get it, right?
A trip to the bank? Borrow it from
a friend or relative?
DENNIS
Not really...I...
JOHNNY
This is not good, Dennis. Lou pays
you on time when you win, right?
DENNIS
Yeah... it's just...I mean look
around, I'm not exactly wealthy
here...
JOHNNY
Well, if you're placing bets you
can't cover, you've got a big
problem...
Johnny reaches into his jacket.
Dennis looks nervous.
DENNIS
Look. I know Lou must-
JOHNNY
-it's called Gambling Addiction! I
see it all the time. Here, let me
give you this pamphlet about it. I
really think you should go to one
of the meetings.
Johnny slides the pamphlet across the coffee table.
A wave of relief washes over Dennis.
DENNIS
(picking up the pamphlet)
Oh, I will! I see now that I have a
problem.
I'm going to take care of it. You
can bet -COUNT! Count! You can
count on that.
JOHNNY
Good. I'm glad to hear that.
Dennis looks at Johnny who doesn't budge, just sits there
SMILING at him.
Dennis looks around awkwardly.
DENNIS
So, y'know...Thank you for giving
me this information...SO much.
JOHNNY
You're welcome!
Johnny still doesn't move.
DENNIS
Oh! So, tell Lou that I am really
grateful for his compassion and
understanding and...
Johnny starts LAUGHING.
JOHNNY
Ohh.. Ohh... Dennis, you didn't
think that just because you
admitted you have a problem that
your debt goes away, did you? This
isn't celebrity rehab. I don't look
like Dr. Drew do I?
(laughing)
I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh.
That's very insensitive of me. I
apologize. Besides admitting you've
got a problem is only the first
step. You have to take
accountability for it as well...
Granted, you're supposed to do that
on your own but...unfortunately,
I'm gonna have to help you with
that step.
Dennis soaks this in. The realization that he's not off the
hook sinks back in.
DENNIS
Hey, you want a drink? I sure could
use one.
JOHNNY
That's not another problem is it?
'Cause I didn't bring any A.A.
pamphlets.
(beat, laughs)
I'm just joshin' ya! Who can blame
you under the circumstances?! What
are ya havin'?
DENNIS
Scotch on the rocks.
JOHNNY
Sounds good. Make it two.
Dennis heads into the kitchen.
INTERCUT KITCHEN/ LIVING ROOM
Johnny notices a wooden frog sitting on the coffee table. He
looks at it inquisitively.
Dennis gets two glasses and fills them with ice.
Johnny picks up the frog and examines it.
Dennis pours the Scotch.
Johnny notices a stick-like piece in the frog's mouth comes
out. He looks at that trying to figure out what it does.
Dennis looks around nervously and takes a gun out of the
kitchen drawer and tucks it in his pants, before grabbing the
drinks and heading back.
LIVING ROOM
Dennis returns and puts the drink on the table.
Johnny puts the frog down.
JOHNNY
Have a seat here on the couch and
we can figure out what to do about
this debt.
Dennis reluctantly sits on the couch next to Johnny.
JOHNNY
(raising his glass)
Cheers.
They clink the glasses and take a swig.
JOHNNY
Blended?
DENNIS
Yeah. Can't really afford the
single malt.
JOHNNY
Yeah. No, I understand.
DENNIS
I tell ya, I have the worst luck
lately. I just lost my right
testicle to cancer and now this...
JOHNNY
That sucks but... you've gotta stay
positive, look on the bright side.
DENNIS
Of testicular cancer?
JOHNNY
Yeah! You gotta see your scrotum as
half full not half empty.
(beat)
Like Lance Armstrong, y'know?
DENNIS
Uhhh... yeah... but y'know, it was
a lot of medical bills... and then
I blew the tranny in my truck. That
was five-hundred bucks-
JOHNNY
-Shouldn't the Trannie have paid
YOU?
DENNIS
Huh?
JOHNNY
I mean... OH! You mean you blew the
transmission in your truck! I
thought... Nevermind. Look, Dennis,
gambling is not the way to get
yourself out of debt. But I think
you realize that now.
Johnny puts the glass down and picks up the frog again. He's
trying really hard to figure out its function.
As Johnny is seemingly memorized by the frog-
Dennis slowly reaches behind him and takes out his gun.
JOHNNY
Okay. I give up what does this frog
do?
Dennis aims his gun at Johnny, who seems oblivious.
JOHNNY
Oh wait. I know...
In a FLASH-
Johnny CRACKS Dennis on the bridge of the nose with the frog
and grabs the gun out of his hand.
JOHNNY
It's a weapon, right?
Dennis MOANS and puts his hands over his nose.
DENNIS
Ahh...Dude, that really hurt.
JOHNNY
You pulled a gun on me, Dennis.
DENNIS
I know.. But still...owwww...
JOHNNY
That was a bad idea. I may not look
like much but I'm an expert in
several martial arts. Some you've
never even heard of... like "Lazy
Seahorse Karate".
(beat, laughing)
Okay. I made that one up.
(more laughing)
Look, Dennis, this problem isn't
going to go away. You have to find
your inner strength and deal with
it in a positive way.
(RE: the gun)
This? Not very positive.
DENNIS
I'm sorry. I just...I don't have
seven grand...
JOHNNY
Okay... Well, how much do you have?
DENNIS
I can get half if I can go to the
bank.
JOHNNY
Okay. Well, half is better than
none. If you give me half today, I
can give you another week to come
up with the other half.
Johnny sighs with relief.
JOHNNY
Of course, I'll have to break your
leg.
(off his reaction,
shrugging)
Sorry...
DENNIS
Couldn't you just break my pinkie
or something?
JOHNNY
Pinkie is for like 500 bucks or
less, a few grand is definitely leg
range. Again, sorry.
DENNIS
Can I have another glass of Scotch
first?
JOHNNY
Sure!
(beat)
I'll get it. Just in case you've
got a set of ginsu knives in there
you're fixing on grabbing.
Johnny heads into the kitchen, still holding the gun, and
returns with the bottle a moment later.
JOHNNY
And I'll tell ya what else I'll do
for ya, since I like you... I'll
let you pick which leg I break.
Dennis manages a weak smile as he pours himself another
drink.
JOHNNY
(motioning towards the
frog with the gun)
So, really, what does that thing
do?
Dennis sighs and picks up the frog. He takes the stick out
its mouth and rubs it across the frog's back. It makes a frog
croaking-like sound.
JOHNNY
(pleased)
Ohhh! It makes a frog sound! Cute.
FADE TO:
INT. LARGE ROOM - NIGHT
Dennis, on crutches, with a cast on his leg, HOBBLES forward
with determination.
There are several people in folding chairs watching as--
Dennis reaches the front of the room and stands behind a
PODIUM.
He leans his crutches against the side of the podium and
clears his throat.
DENNIS
Hi. My name is Dennis and I'm a
gambling addict.
EVERYONE
Hi Dennis.
From the back of the room, Johnny Smiles with a donut in his
hand, smiles proudly and gives him a big THUMBS UP.
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Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.